Infernal Monologue

Must. Have.

I sometimes wonder: Am I more of a Sam Malone-kind of guy, or am I more Cliff Clavin-esque? Either way, I'll need one of these...

Another reason why all space within a five-foot radius of me is Bush Country

So apparently, Bush's approval ratings are starting to climb back up. Some may tell you that it's because of the Iraq surge starting to show some positive results, but those folks have got it all wrong, IMHO. Personally, I chalk the uptick to Bush's recent strong stand on an issue that has been weighing heavily on (and perhaps even threatening) the minds of many Americans. Video of the press conference is below, detailed survey analysis comes after the jump.

As you've no doubt noticed, zombie issues have slowly but surely been lurching toward the forefront of the American political scene. The zombie-rights community celebrated a recent triumph when it saw the first Zombic-American presidential candidate from one of the two major political parties. The candidate's eventual loss¹ and the dismissal by the U.S. Supreme Court of a class-action voting-rights suit² has led to unrest within the zombie community, and to scattered protests across the country.

After President Bush's Rose Garden announcement, Rasmussen Reports conducted a snap poll to take the pulse (so to speak) of the American public on this rotting, shambling issue, and I happened to get my hands on the initial analysis.

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1. The candidate lost amid a furor over whether his service in combat was unduly shortened after the candidate received a discharge following his third Purple Heart medal. Once it was revealed that none of the candidate's injuries were to his head, nor did any prevent ambulation, many members of his community were forced to concede that had they received similar injuries, in all likelihood they would not have even noticed the injuries, much less sought an early discharge due to them.

2. A large number of Zombic-Americans were turned away from the polls during the 2004 election, due to their penchant for biting other voters while waiting for booths; this was found to violate long-standing rules on electioneering at polling-places.